Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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