Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
