After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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