You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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