Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize