i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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