She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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