Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
