of course. lets lasso hookers.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
