I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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