census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize