all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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