Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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