i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's rum buckets o'clock
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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