I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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