Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
