Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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