just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
