Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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