so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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