she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Can I color on your dick again?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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