i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
