i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I AM VODKA MAN
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
