when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
