so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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