What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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