My nipple is on Facebook.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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