I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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