My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
