For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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