Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
