Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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