i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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