You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
