I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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