Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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