just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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