the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
