WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
