i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
