let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
