need another drink. this is the easiest way
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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