VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
