My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize