super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
