people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
