not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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