Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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