i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
