remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
