Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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