Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
