i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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