That's intense
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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