this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Even my vagina gasped.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
