her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
