i permit you to call me
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
