i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
