i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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