Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
