party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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