just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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