I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
